Live the moment

I feel like talking, even though I don't have much on my mind right now.

It's freezing in my house, but sunny outside.

weird how that works.

I think lately I'm starting to realize how important living in the moment can be.

Because once that moment's gone, you'll never get it back.

and one day you will want it back, but you can't have it

because it's in your past, and the only thing you can do now is move forward, and farther away from it.

I think I've known that all along, but I never really thought about it until now.

I mean friends come and go, pets come and go, lives even come and go.

I guess it's because my grandparents (whom I've been living with my entire life)

they're getting older, less able to move, harder to make decisions, behind in bills and such.

I'm afraid of losing them. like all parents (and parent figures) they get on my nerves sometimes, and other times they don't.

it's just like, what would I do without them ya know?

what's going to happen after that.

When you're living in the moment everything seems right, like you'll be able to have this forever but you can't.

my cousin just said to me the other day

"You know, when we were younger and always talking about our futures. I never imagined you'd look like this. Or I'd be doing this. or we lived where we lived."

and I replied with

"Yeah, we spent too much time looking ahead of ourselves when we should have been looking right in front of us, I suppose"

which is completly true.

Whenever I see a preteen or a kid who's going "Oh man I can't wait to grow up!"

I can't help but to tell them to enjoy it while they can, because it only gets harder.

Friends have come and gone, people have moved away and I've even lost myself along the way.

I think sometimes when I'm confused with "who I am" and "where I'm going with life" I actually lose what makes me, me.

By being confused with who I am, I lose who I am.

Whoever's reading this is probably thinking I'm crazy, and I just might be lol

this year, like every year has taught me some stuff.
and it's not over.

I'm so happy I have the friends I have. without them I don't know where I'd be.

It's the people. The people you're with that make the days worth living again.

haha the other day, some woman walked by me and told me "You know, you should act more like a lady instead of running around with all these crazy children and dying your hair different colors. It's just not right."

I was pretty offended by it for a while.

but then I thought, okay. what is HER definition of a lady?

A girl that follows all the rules, doesn't have her own opinions or creativity and no life?

I'm my own person. I never dyed my hair to get attention or to attract a certain crowd of people.

I did it because I've always been facinated with colors, and I did it because it's what I wanted to do.

people are againest it, yes. and people like it.

it's not a rebellion.

it's just who I am.

and yeah, I do plan on changing the colors every now and again.

so sue me ;D

But I guess what this whole thing was made out to say was,

you should live in the moment.

because before you know it, that moment is gone.

and you can't get it back.

thanks for being my friend. I hope this lasts forever.