Life Starts Now

Hello there again..
I haven't blogged in a while.
So much to be said but not enough words to express it.

Things have changed, and I'm sure I have too.
Not too long ago I've lost myself.
I've lost what makes me, me.
I've lost the girl who knew who she was,
who she is, and where she's going.
She knew where she wanted to be.
She knew what she was doing.
She knew everything about herself.

But then I lost her, when I lost a friend.
(I didn't LOSE a friend. a friend moved. I still love her <3)
That girl left me, and to be honest, I don't think she's coming back.
Whoa, whoa now. I know you're wondering,
"So, you're depressed..right?"
Heck no.
I've realized in the past few months,
that I'm fine not knowing what I'm doing.
I don't understand myself anymore,
I'm completely unpredictable.
My views on life have changed,
my priorities have shifted.
I'm happy to know that I don't have to hide behind
that girl that knew anymore.
I stuck to her plans, and her rules.

I've also realized that being lost in myself
has always been a part of me.
It may change. I may "find myself" again.
But this time, I hope I don't.
I love this new sense of adventure,
this new sense of wander.

Ironic, isn't it?
Just a few months ago, I posted a blog about
"losing" yourself.
I said that I hope you find your way back.
and I do...
I just hope I can hold onto this feeling for as long as I can.

And beyond that, not much is to be said.
The adventure awaits,
and life starts now.

P.S.
Jessica, I miss you. <3